I started blogging in August and I was doing it to get my feelings and thoughts out. It was an unorganized place of my thoughts and worries. It was not what I wanted my blog to be. So here we go, I have started over and want to create a new set of stories and show the world (whoever takes the time to read this) how I feel. How I feel about the world, society, my generation, my family, marriage, equality, women's rights, the list has endless possibilities as my mind is on a search to better understand the world and why we are continuously trying to fit in.
Fitting in.
This is the perfect part for me to start. I admit it, there was a time when I was not an individual. A time when I was caught up in high school, just hoping to survive. Just wanting to fit in and be accepted. When I found things like painting, singing, theater yearbook, and student government, it really started to shape me. I was doing it for me. I was completely ok with being the weird girl in theater class, because it was where I was comfortable. It was home.
College is the one place where I have a hard time understanding why people try so hard to fit in. They try so hard to monopolize their group of friends from day one. That's not what it's about. It's about building a support group, finding friends who love you for who you. I have a ridiculous example that you will love. I was taking an Outdoor Living Skills class this past fall. We learned about acorn harvesting. Yes, acorns. It's ridiculous, and funny. When I sent out a mass text to my friends in the residence hall asking if there were any oak trees around them I knew they would find it hilarious. They would find it funny, but know it was me. It was something I was interested in however crazy it may be. I didn't have to fear someone telling me I couldn't wear pink on Friday's. My friends call me weird and awkward all the time, and I'm fine with that. Because I know I am. I am so awkward, and can make any situation weird if given a slightest chance. Don't try to learn something because you think someone else will like you for it. Don't change for anyone, because once they get comfortable with the "fake and molded" person you have become, you will never be able to truly be yourself. Wear the clothes you like, and don't worry about what other people think, it's your body and your style.
What I'm trying to say is simply this, surround yourself and remain close to only those who you feel connected with and those who accept you for you. Building a ridiculously huge group of friends will make you lonely at the end of the day. Social structure is important, but at the end of the day it's all about "I've got your back, and I know you've got mine."
Here is your challenge: Be you. All day. Every minute. Show how you truly feel, and you will have no regrets. If you want to be a punk, do it. Do you. I'm going to do me.
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